Cinder's Great Idea is Tit-get Spinners
by God Emperor Penguin
Summary: Cinder has a great new plan to conquer the world: tit-get spinners.A titget spinner is apparently two fidget spinners affixed on a bra. I don't know how to describe it, look it up Jessica Nigri's twitter. A request from /u/edge4214 on the /r/rwby subreddit.


**Summary:** _Cinder has a great new plan to conquer the world: tit-get spinners.A titget spinner is apparently two fidget spinners affixed on a bra approximately where the nipples should be. I don't know how to describe it, look it up Jessica Nigri's twitter. A request from /u/edge4214 on the /r/rwby subreddit._

 **Cinder's Great Idea is Tit-get Spinners**

* * *

 _With your subordinates…_

* * *

"Okay this meeting of the Criminal Underworld Association, Vale Chapter is called to order. Roll call. President Torchwick, that's me of course, present. Secretary Neo is taking notes. Chapter squibs Mercury and Emerald- Ow! Please Miss Green, can our rendezvous wait until after the meeting? _Ow ow ow!_ Okay those two are present… and who could forget Miss Cinder? Present and ravishing as always."

"Indeed, Roman, indeed."

Roman propped his feet on the circular roundtable in his conference room. He always knew criminals needed conference rooms. "Now I understand Miss Cinder you have a brilliant new idea to show us?"

"Indeed I do, Roman." Cinder licked her lips. "I have a most brilliant plan for world domination."

"Do you have any idea what Cinder's plan is?" Mercury whispered to Emerald.

"Not a clue. You know why she's got a raincoat on?" asked Emerald.

"Maybe she's cold?" Mercury shrugged.

"This lady can summon firestorms of glass and she's _cold_?"

"So what is your brilliant scheme, Miss Cinder?" Roman said with a loud cough to get the two Chapter squibs attention. "I hope it's profitable?"

"Yes, it's most profitable," Cinder nodded. "As you all know… fidget spinners are all the rage around Vale. It is only natural that we harness this power…"

Roman nodded. "I see, I see… and how might we do that, Miss Fall?"

Cinder smirked. "I'm glad you asked."

Cinder stood up from her seat and ripped open her rain coat, revealing the revolting contraption within.

 _Tit-get spinners._

" _ **My sweet virgin eyes!**_ " Mercury cried.

"Holy fuck," Emerald screamed.

Torchwick whistled.

Neo eyed it cautiously, then she began poking it with her umbrella.

They jiggled.

* * *

 _With your bosses and co-workers…_

* * *

Doctor Watts stood up.

"Cinder… I'm going to say this in the most diplomatic and straightforward way I can." Doctor Watts looked around the room, feeling consensus. "Get. The. _**Fuck.**_ Out."

"Seconded." Hazel nodded.

"Thirded." Tyrian agreed.

"I don't think 'Third-ed' is a word," Hazel replied.

"Oh sorry Hazel, I didn't know your last name was _Dick_ -tionary," Tyrian hissed.

The two began pounding each other furiously on the table with their sweaty bodies. Doctor Watts watched. That's his fetish. He twirled his mustache in satisfaction.

Salem slams her head on the table repeatedly.

"Where did I go wrong… _where did I go wrong_?" Salem sobbed.

"Aren't we the bad guys?" Tyrian asked, lifting his head from Hazel's sweaty and hairy chest. Everyone shrugged as Cinder was hauled screaming out of the compound by Emerald and Mercury.

* * *

 _With your enemies..._

* * *

"Wha-what-what is that?" Ruby cried. "Yang! Yaaang!"

"Cover your eyes, Sis!" Yang held out her gauntlets to salvage Ruby's innocent view. "It's okay… I'm here… I'm here..." Yang looked back in fury at Cinder. "Do you realize you've committed a heinous crime? You're going to end up on a list lady! I swear it! Ankle bracelet and everything!"

Weiss was on the ground laughing. "I'm going… to die… of laughter! _Hahahahahahaha_!"

Blake squinted her eyes.

"Do those come in black?"

Nearby were two bros. " _Nice_ ," said Sun and Neptune at the same time before fist bumping.

* * *

 _With Jaune…_

* * *

Jaune kneeled beside Cinder, using his hands like paws to keep the spinners spinning. They were in a cottage far from civilization. Brooks were babbling, the sky was blue and sunny with a speck of white clouds.

"Hey this is kind of fun," said Jaune, completely amused with spinning the spinners.

Cinder sighed.

She had decided to retire. Cinder worried she was going to be a crazy cat lady but instead of getting cats she got a Jaune instead.

 _A Jaune is fine too_ , Cinder thought with a cheek resting on her hands looking like a concerned mother.

 _ **Cinder's Great Idea is Tit-get Spinners Fin**_

 **Author's Note:** _There was a point where I felt I needed to stop. But I've clearly passed it. I'm going to keep going and see what happens._

 **Editor's Note:** _I don't understand._


End file.
